this post is a result of a fragile and destroyed emotional state after the Pulse shooting in Orlando, I’m not going to apologize for the rawness of it.

As I woke this morning, and read the reports of the tragedy that happened at Pulse, one of Orlando’s most famous gay clubs, I was stricken dumb. Unable to articulate how destroyed I was that this happened.

People have said “well, it’s Florida, after all.” Some are blaming it on the man’s religion, some are blaming it on the NRA, myself included.

But blame doesn’t do anything. Blame doesn’t help. Words, Thoughts, Prayers, none of this does a goddamn thing. I posted on facebook that I do not have the words to describe how I feel, and that’s mostly true.

But words are fucking pointless.

When I try to unpack why I’ve been on the verge of tears all day, why on the verge is constantly turning into full on curled into a ball crying, it comes down to one thing.

One of those 100+ people injured or killed could have been me or my husband.

It wasn’t, but it could have been. Imagine, those of you who know me, imagine how you would have felt to learn that I was one of those 100+ people. Imagine not knowing if I was alive, injured, or dead.

It’s something that is all too easy to imagine in today’s world. It’s something that I’ve tried to articulate so many times when confronting people who don’t understand equality, who don’t understand why not being any part of cis, white, hetero, male makes you fear for your life.

While this evil man who perpetrated this hateful assault on my people directly caused harm to roughly 100 people in his attack, each of those 100 people have family, friends, coworkers who have been unequivocally changed by these events.

And blame will do nothing. Let’s make a commitment to do something to make this stop happening. Call your senators and representatives. VOTE fucking above all, get out to the polls and VOTE. Thoughts and Prayers and mourning is fine, but don’t remain passive in this fight for our lives and the lives of people who are marginalized. The voice of the people can be heard, but we need to shout, and scream, and make ourselves heard.